Fearlessly Feminine | Interview with Tamara Lackey
One of my guilty pleasures in life is long, hot showers in the middle of the day. It’s the perfect time. The kids are at school. Husband is at work. Emails were already answered. It’s quiet. Something I don’t experience often. The shower is my favorite place to brainstorm, dream and plan. It just seems like a safe place where all your nerves and stress can be washed away and allow you to be free to let your mind wander.
Lately, I have used my shower brainstorming sessions to think about feminism. More specifically, what being a woman in 2013 really looks like. It’s pretty confusing, isn’t it? Are we expected to work? Stay home? Cook? Clean? Shop? Do homework? Be Sexy? Be family oriented? Be organized? etc… the answer is YES!
When I got out of the shower I googled feminism:
The advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.
Ok, I get that. I understand for years we fought to be treated equally and although I do indeed believe we have made many strides…are we equal to men? The answer is NO!
Now, hear me out – because I am not trying to put men down AT ALL…this is an interesting time for men too. In fact a lot of gender lines and roles are being blurred these days. The point is in my opinion, in the efforts to become equal to men – is it possible we’ve lost sight of being women?
I would like to think of feminism a little differently. Maybe more of a reform feminism. A feminism where women stand together to make us all better women. A place where we don’t judge each other, but instead help each other figure out life’s struggles. We can be gentle to each other, and help each other when we are down.
In the shower one day, I had the idea to speak to women that I look up to. Interview women that help other women, that believe in the power of true femininity.
I am starting the reform here and now….today with the amazing Tamara Lackey.
Deciding to interview Tamara was a no brainer. I mean woman’s got her sh!t together! Not only is she an incredibly talented photographer, but she is a mom of 3 gorgeous children and 2 dogs (which I hear are more work than the kids!). She is also an “Exuberant Vegan” and a brilliant speaker. I sat down with Tamara recently via the power of Skype and had a really great, powerful conversation with her.
I started by asking Tamara what it means to her to be a woman. Whew. Deep breathe – tough question to start with. I know this – but I really wanted to get right into it.
Tamara confided in me that when she turned 35 it hit her. All the thoughts and ideas, and things she had been reading zoomed in on her. It hit her that there was a disconnect and she had to change how she interacted and communicated with people. She wanted to be able to present herself more aligned with who she really was as a woman, and that the disconnect was too painful. The female part of that is realizing you can have a lot of care about subjects that are important to you and in no way does that mean it’s superficial to care about what you look like or how your clothes fit. This is so much of what health and energy is about.
“If I am not in a position to give, everyone else suffers”. (Now that certainly doesn’t sound superficial to me!)
When asking Tamara about that disconnect that she experienced, she explained that it is really about figuring out who you are and asking yourself what you are really asking for and where you really feel most comfortable, not what you think you are supposed to be.
“When people say things like – just be yourself – I think we hear that so much, it doesn’t mean anything. A lot of people don’t know what that is. Well sure, I’ll be myself. Do you have a book on that? The way you find that is digging through what is true for you. It means time alone, quiet, reading inspirational text.”
Tamara confessed that she never ate poorly (although she did at time sneak in a diet soda or cheese doodles), but now that she is practicing more self care and proper eating she will never go back.
I’ve been greatly inspired by my conversation with Tamara, and to tell you the truth she is one of the reasons I recently sought out the guidance of a nutritional counselor. After our conversation I couldn’t shake the thoughts of how Tamara was plowing through her days – alive and well, and I was struggling for energy. I was also struggling to “be myself” and I couldn’t ignore the link that bad food had to that increasing that struggle.
This is what I love so much about being a woman. Women helping other women. Without even trying, Tamara inspired me and started my health journey.
Thank you Tamara for your time, inspiration and love of what you do.